Bionic Woman

November 24th was my port surgery. A port (or port-o-cath) is a little metal disk that has a rubber tube attached to it. The tube gets inserted into a vein and the port stays under the skin as well. It feels like a button. It is used to give IV medicine, now they don't have to search for a vein, the medicine goes into the port which is already attached to a vein. My port is near my collarbone. I was nervous before my surgery, but it ended up being no big deal. I was pretty sore and a little nauseated but had medicine for that so it was alright. I'm learning to ask for what I want when I'm in a clinic or surgery center. The anesthesiologist asked how I was doing before surgery and I told him I was nervous, so he gave me some medicine that made me feel gooooood. :) And after surgery I was thirsty and told the nurse that and she got me some juice! Apparently Elizabeth came up there and talked to Mom and Cody while I was having my surgery. Elizabeth is a fellow Ole Miss grad student, in the clinical psych program. I knew of her, but didn't really know her. She just went through everything I will be having for breast cancer. A mutual friend of ours hooked us up and she has been great answering my questions and just being there for me. After my port surgery, Cody and I went to talk to a fertility doctor about our options. Apparently chemo can make you go into early menopause, and getting pregnant can cause hormones that can make my cancer grow, plus I'll be on medicine for years after all this where I'm not allowed to get pregnant. The fertility doc said our best option was to freeze embryos (either to be put back in me or a surrogate). This would involve pumping me full of hormones and postponing my chemo. Cody and I both thought that was a bad idea, despite the fertility doc's pushiness. I have always wanted to adopt children anyway, so we had talked about having one of our own and then adopting one or two. Now, we'll just do it backwards, adopt one or two, and then have one of our own (if its meant to be). I know nothing about adoption, but when I'm well, I'm sure I will learn all I can about it. And hey, I get to have a baby without being pregnant! Lol, always a bright side to things, right? I do feel really bad about not being able to give Cody a baby of our own (at least right now). We had just started trying (less than a month!) when we got my diagnosis. I know he wants one so bad, and the only reason we were waiting was for me to finish school. I finally got baby fever and now we have to be careful and use condoms and such. And of course, everywhere I turn someone I know is pregnant or has a new baby. It's not that I'm not happy for people, but it's kinda hard, ya know? But I think once we can really start looking into adoption, it will feel so good that it won't matter anymore.